love..?? !!

Is that Love Imprtant to me ??

can i find a guy let me fall in love..??
is that chan fui is a guy let me fall in love..
actually he just ok to me, not much sayang me..
$$ to he, i think no too important to him...
but i know he like spend $$..
but i fall in love before with him..he包容me too much..
in his face,i can put down all false mask..
but i can't forgive him, take away me thing belonging..
but my heart too soft, just want walk back relationship with him.
is that he is a choice to me..??
but on the time,many friend i know,become couple..
so happy when saw them in relationship..hahaha...
ricky n chee li,kok huan n his student...

but i just want 暧昧with other guy..

because chan fui hurt my heart untill uncoverage..

i scare fall in love other guy or fall in love with him again..

the conclusion is same..

let me so tired, sad, cry, broken my heart..

no way..i need to enjoy my life now..

i want become different...this year is my 21 years..

i want travelling..i want go every place..i want change to beautiful...

yohoo...cheer up my life...

can't concentrate study,exam soon

EXAM EXAM EXAM EXAM EXAM

is the time..

haiz..can't concectrate study..next week exam

19-01-2010 BM 2pm V1,2

21-01-2010 Fundamental (Mr. Fazham) 9am H1

23-01-2010 Understanding PR (Ms. Janice) 2pm college hall

now is 2nd sem..just exam 3 subject..

but can't concentrate..manybe too lest subject..too relax..haiz..

anyone can tell me..if luck coming,anything is good..

yesterday.ex-bf call me.n we chart almost 4 hours from 11.45pm-3.45am..

my roomate curious who chart with me..

also galilee know them 虐待(maltreat)her tortoise(祥祥,because her bf also call祥), n take video

i give she watch that video..she 不爽。after i sms her bf,aaron call she,she will ok already..

today..godpa sms me..i m so happy..

is that lucky..i love it..

but i can't cancentrate study,...

GOD,pls let me claim down myself, n concentrate study.in jesus name i prayer,amen.

i won't care

HE

contact me,i not answer his calling,because i know if i answer,my heart will forgive him, and i will back beside him.

• i scare, i don't know how to do, like angle n evil beside 2 side my shoulder.

1. Angle tell me don't go back, don't answer his call, don't look him, he broken ur heart, treat u in bad way, whatever he has laptop, money, but he leave god, Would u like this kind of guy.u leave god before,and do bad thing in front of god,then u want do again..then u go back, will like before, he is not who god prepare to u.
2. Evil told me u so love he as much ,maybe he change already, just u give he a chance.u need laptop, he hv,he can borrow. he working, so he can give u $$..

pls GOD..help me pass this problem,don't let me think too much of this case.

let me concentrate relation with u.concentrate exam.

GOD,god,pls grant me passion to confront all problem front me,

also grant wisdom to differentiate all good n bad thing.

my godfather..17-20/12/2009..

i go jb to find my godfather..feeling of after went there..

SHIT,BORING,STUPID.is word came out grom my heart.why

1. i plan all thing when i go there can do it,out of one thing not done also..is that to me any plan i organizate,wont be achieve..always like that.

why i need go jb to meet my godfather..why i just not stay in kl, enjoy my joyful weekend..

1. why i need to go there,let my godmum dislike me. why i need to go there,just think i hv good gatering with my godpa, why i'm so stupid to think that..why i need to go there, then he let me know he get another goddaughter (last time,he get another goddaughter,is my churchmate, i angry to the max at the time,after that i accept,but this time,another girl came out, is younger than me,also i dont know her.)
2. i give up,when i back kl before night, i cry, i let off my stress, i let off all emotion..i dislike all thing, i let off my thing..at the night, godpa told me,susan will come 2moro,i angry, i let off my temper, i cry, i hate and say"wwhy didnt told me before, let me can buy early bus ticket, and i can reach kl early" he let me know susan make ddecision on the morning. i say " can i stop and not to be ur daughter." this few week, i call he, he say he busy.i have something to choice,(this year house leader become to me).this decision let me stress,i need some ppl to discuss,but......i know to be pastor, too many thing he need to handle.but...

he let know i need to handle my own thing.i need to grow up..

GOD, pls help me, let me learn all of my thing,trouble/easy thing let u handle it.

let me learn how to put my life to ur hand.ths god